The real boss: how to grow a leader, but not an egoist

Now it has become fashionable to allow children almost everything. It is believed that in this way the child improves his self-esteem and certainly will not be complexed. All parents want their beloved child to be successful and achieve a lot in life. Unfortunately, it often happens that permissiveness and excessive admiration make a child not a leader, but a big egoist. How to avoid these mistakes in education?

Woman’s Day studied the work of psychologists and collected 5 tips that will help educate the leader. But note: in each there are pitfalls. If you go around them smoothly, then you will have a leader with a human face, and not a selfish tyrant.

1. Love without conditions

The child must feel loved. And love just like that, without any "if." This is the most important condition in the education of a leader.

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Love must be unconditional, but not blind. If the child is dirty, it is not good, of course, it is impossible to lower it on the brakes.

If any toy, candy, rides in the park are immediately presented to the child at his first call, his boundaries are erased. If he lives on the principle "I want! Buy it! Give! ”, This means that the child’s egoism began to manifest itself in full force.

2. Positive reinforcement

Create a spirit of positive and optimism in your family. Do not repeat to the child every five minutes: "It is impossible!", "Do not touch!", "Is bad!", "Do not think of it!". Such statements are called negative reinforcement and have a bad effect on the psyche and character of the child. And the phrase "You're bad" is better to forget at all.

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To forget to scold a child does not mean to ignore inappropriate behavior. So you exactly spoiled dirty dog ​​will bring up. Exit - create positive reinforcement. That is, moralizing should sound something like this: “You are a good child, I love you very much, but now you did a bad thing.” Show that you are upset. Baby loves you and do badly no longer want.

3. Forward, we are with you!

Remember, you are a team. Supporting the child in his endeavors, thereby you raise his self-confidence. Mark his progress and achievements.And if something does not work out - teach him not to get upset. Assure that everything will work out, though not immediately.

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If the child has failed, do not rush to help him at the same second. Let him deal with adversity himself. Otherwise, you will grow an infantile creature, accustomed to the fact that adults always fix, rake and solve everything.

4. Encourage the initiative

Does the child want to attend a club or to speak in public? Support him on the road to self-realization. To start, read together on the Internet about this sport (art, etc.), learn about the possible difficulties of this area, about the prospects. Let the child seriously enough consider his decision so that his “I want!” Very quickly will not be replaced by the word “Tired”. If he really wants to join the circle, encouraging such desires.

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Speaking of rewards ... For the success and efforts of the child there should be no material rewards. Once you ask your child to wash the dishes for candy or some kind of money, the more he will not perform his household duties for free.

5. Learn to keep the word, listen and hear

Leader is responsible for his words. Many parents forgive their little children frivolous lies, but a big lie grows out of a small one. A child from childhood must understand that it is impossible to deceive.

A leader knows how to listen and hear. An important trait for a leader is to listen and hear criticism in his direction. At the same time, he should not be offended by her, crying and be hammered into a corner; it is necessary to make constructive conclusions. Explain to the child that, if they have made a remark, they need to think about how to ensure that this does not happen again. A person who does not accept criticism, does not want to listen to it and draw conclusions, thereby demonstrating the weakness of his soul and obvious selfishness.

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Do not forget about your own example! Remember: children do not care what you say, children matter what you do.

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