Why the child does not obey

Too many bans. When a child is constantly banned, he just has a certain need for disobedience. You can not dirty pantyhose, you can not run, you can not jump, you can not candy, you can not watch cartoons, you can not run around the swing, etc. The system of restrictions is so great that the really important ones are lost in a large number of smaller ones. And the child begins to violate them, simply fulfilling the need for a violation. And well, if this disobedience applies only to minor prohibitions. And if he breaks right away what is really important? For example, the ban on the game with matches? An occasion to think overly strict parents. Permissiveness This is the complete opposite of rigor and a system of prohibitions. At first glance, it seems that parents and children have a full understanding. Dad and Mom are wizards who can do anything. But suddenly there comes a time when the child’s desire cannot be fulfilled. Parents know that this is impossible, and the child thinks that they simply do not want it.And if he becomes capricious and demanding, then mom and dad will fulfill his whim. Both in the first and in the second case, a certain measure should be observed in raising the child. The third reason for whims and disobedience is the mismatch of parents in the prohibitions. Naturally, in this case, the baby chooses the position “can”, but at the same time he will try to do everything quietly, and when they start scolding him, parents can get not just whims, but a real tantrum. Therefore, it is very important that parents, at least in important points, always know each other’s position on a particular issue. In case of doubt, the child can simply say that “I will consult with my mother and we will decide.” Increased excitability This fact most often depends on medical indicators. And tracked in infancy. Such children are identified by a neurologist, psychologist, etc. Crises A crisis of one year, a crisis of 3 years, a crisis of 7 years. Psychologists and educators have a whole table of such crises. But not every parent knows about this. In essence, a crisis is a transition of a child to a new stage of development.In fact, the child by some revolutionary means jumps to a new form of development. The conflict arises in the event that parents do not have time to restructure. For example, a child jumped to this stage at the age of three years, while mom and dad still communicate with him through the system of two-year lined relationships. However, this system no longer works, and it seems that the crumb does not obey, behaves badly, is capricious. Some parents say that they didn’t notice any crisis in children, and it seems there wasn’t any. This is not true. There was a crisis, just in this case, the parents managed to adjust to the needs of the child. Jealousy When there are two children in a family, this is one of the main reasons. The younger one needs more attention than the older one, and the older child becomes jealous. Whims, disobedience is a kind of way to draw attention to yourself and get the amount of time that was spent on the younger one, albeit with negative emotions of the parents. Therefore, it is worth watching how you distribute your attention among children. If you sat down to draw with the younger, be sure to connect and older.

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